If you really are too lazy to read this, there is a tl;dr at the bottom. (And yes, this was posted as a FB note)
Now, the people who really need to see this (i.e. the people who I hang around with a lot and therefore have seen me seize a lot) will already know to calm down, to not call an ambulance, to find my cushion bag and cushion my head. Some of you will remember the shoulder thing that stopped me seizing. Of those who remember this technique, most of you will also know that it no longer works. Enter the new Chinese doc. She found a new technique to stop me seizing. I hereby christen it "The Foot Thing". NOTE: THIS METHOD ONLY WORKS ON ME! IF YOU SEE SOMEONE ELSE SEIZING, DO NOT DO THIS TO THEM! It's important to remember that my case is strange and weird and wonderful and all that so the normal first aid stuff does not apply to me. The Foot Thing will do nothing for an epileptic. To do The Foot Thing, simply follow the following steps: 1. Assuming that you've already ensured that I am not methodically beating my brains out onto the concrete, take my shoe off. Either foot will work. If you cannot do this step safely without my kicking you in the face, abort mission. I would rather seize than feel guilt every time I saw your broken face. Remember, it's just another seizure, it is no big deal (no sarcasm here!). 2. So now that you've taken my shoe off, with your nose intact, take my sock off. Again, your face comes first. 3. You should be looking at this. Note that this is not my foot. My foot is, like the rest of me, so hot that to upload a photo of it would cause your computer screens to incinerate.  4. Imagine a line from my ankle to the tip of my heel (indicated by red line). Given that I may be thrashing about, this may be difficult. Then, identify the midway point (indicated by black star). On my left foot, I have a scar that goes along my foot. The intersect of this scar with the imaginary red line will be it. On my right foot there is no such scar so you'll just have to guesstimate.  5. With your thumb on this point, and your pointer (or middle finger, whichever is the stronger) on the corresponding point on the other side of my foot, squeeze the life out of me. Keep squeezing until I stop seizing. 6. Bask in the success of having stopped a seizure. Frequently Asked Questions (some haven't been asked yet but I'm preempting): Q: But won't it hurt you?
A: Yes. I may or may not scream. It's fine, just do it. Q: But I can't stand the thought of causing you pain!
A: Aww. It's ok. I love you too. In this case, you have two choices. Just let me seize it out, which is totally fine. Second choice is to find someone who hates me enough to do it. Q: How hard do I need to squeeze?
A: Hard. Really hard. I can't do it myself because I'm a wimp and I stop when it hurts too much. Q: What's the science behind this?
A: I have no idea. As wonderful as my chinese doc is, we have enough problems communicating (she speaks Mandarin, I speak English.) All I know is that it's a pressure point, it works and there aren't any side effects. Q: But it's psychological! It's all in your head! Mind over matter! You just need the willpower to stop this!
A: You may want to leave my presence before you lose your head. Q: So.... you're giving us permission to hurt you?
A: Do this when I'm not seizing without my permission and I'll hurt you. Q: Will this work forever?
A: I got no idea. I'll take what I can get for how long I can get it. Q: I don't want to do this.
A: It's ok. You don't have to. It's fine to let me seize. Q: Your feet stink.
A: Um. *crickets chirping, awkward turtle* Q: Why. Can't. I. Take. Your. Shoe. Off.
A: Hey, it's fine, don't worry about it. We're getting into winter now and my toenails turn purple when it's cold so I can't wear sandals anymore unfortunately. Like I said earlier, if you can take my shoe off, great. If you can't, just keep me safe. Q: Is it better to use this method or to let you seize it out if it hurts you?
A: This method, particularly if I've already had three or more that day. Lately I've found that after I seize, my muscles get quite sore and stiff. I hate to admit it, but I'm getting old. Q: I've heard that you can handle flashes now. Is that true?
A: YES! A good 99% of flashes don't affect me anymore! So there is no need to worry about cameras around me. =) Q: So, we can flash you now?
A: What kind of flashing are we talking about? Cameras and lights, yes. Other flashing, aw heck no! Q: I've heard that you get dizzy now. What's up with that?
A: I got no idea. For some of my seizures, I'll suddenly just get really dizzy, stack it then seize. So if I'm on the stairs and this happens, this is problematic and I haven't really thought of a way to get around this seeing as it comes so suddenly. If you see me falling on the stairs, try to catch me hopefully? Otherwise just treat it like normal - it's just an unpleasant precursor for me, but as usual, I'm still conscious.
TL;DR If you see me seize and my head is safe, squeeze the heck out of my ankle/heel. If you don't feel confident/comfortable doing so, just make sure my head is safe and let me seize. And you can camera flash me now. | 
) when she handed her Facebook account over to me until she'd finished her assignments. Trololololol Shaz
